over the mountain

on day 13 of our trip we travelled by bus from nha trang to da lat....nha trang is a beautiful beach city, and da lat is located in the central highlands...travel by car or bus in viet nam is very different than here...there are not highways, so it's a little slow....a 100 mile trip, which might take us 2 hours, takes 3-4 hours in viet nam....

so, here we get on the bus early in the morning in nha trang to head to da lat....the trip would take about 4 hours, and we would have to go through the mountain pass to get there....it had rained during the night, and it was still a little cloudy, but there was no rain falling when we left....as we got into the mountains, our guide explained that the government was working on widening the road, so it was a little dug up, but the last trip he had, they couldn't take this road, so he was excited it was open again....

once we were pretty high up into the pass, the road became very muddy....very muddy....there were many other buses and cars on the road and with all the construction on it, it was very narrow....many times we had to stop to allow cars and buses coming from the opposite direction to pass....but as we got farther into the mountain and pass, the mud got worse and deeper....then one of the buses in front of us got stuck....

the people on the bus got off and pushed it out of the mud....however, it didn't stay unstuck for long...

 

our very skilled driver did a good job and stayed behind and did a great job driving us through the mud...we didn't get stuck, but we continued to watch the red bus in front of us get stuck....then we came to a hill tribe village....the people there were fascinated by all the cars and buses trying to get through the mud...

one of their houses...while we were travelling through this village the red bus got stuck once again...

as they got the bus moving again....our driver tried driving through a different part of the road, so we didn't meet the same fate....and our luck had been great so far, though we were already an hour behind schedule....but our luck soon ran out....as our driver and his helper were trying to get us through the village, the bus stopped moving....there we were, stuck....then the driver, our guide, and the helper all put their brains together to figure out how to get us out....

they made us all move to one side of the bus, thinking the extra weight would give us enough traction to get us moving...that didn't work....then they started to talk to the villagers....and asked for help....during this time, most of the village was out of their houses, watching us....

 

a few even took our pictures....eventually our driver and guide reached an agreement with the villagers about a price for their help....their original price was 1,000,000 vnd....they reached a compromise to 250,000vnd....the villagers then started pushing the bus....but the bus wouldn't move...so, they found some gravel from the construction and started using wheelbarrows of gravel under the wheels....the bus started to move...and we weren't stuck anymore!  the villagers however, upped the price to 500,000 vnd....and when the money wasn't crisp enough for them, they fought the driver and our guide about that....but eventually, they got their money and we continued on our way...

i am happy to report that we didn't get stuck again, and neither did anyone in front of us...we made it to da lat, about 2.5 hours late, but our group didn't mind...we were happy to be at our destination....

another semester gone by

tomorrow is friday of finals week, to end fall 2009....this semester was one for the books...and as i look back on it, i can't believe i made it to this point...

this semester i covered one of my CD's maternity leave...that meant for the first time in 5 years, i was doing RA one on one's and RA staff meetings....at first i wasn't sure i would know what to talk about with the staff or if i would even remember how to have RA one on one's, but it wasn't too bad....some of it came back to me quickly, some of it more slowly....i was extremely lucky to have a grad student who tracked their programming and just kept me informed of when they were fallen behind....so, that piece had support....the staff was extremely patient with me, as i tried to find my feet again in these meetings....it's funny how fast your supervision brain can change when you go from undergraduates to professionals...and it's hard to go back...

their staff meetings were also different....they were held in conjunction with the other RA staff in my area....the other CD, myself, and our grad ran them together....i am used to professionals getting a little cranky about things, or the ebbs and flows of their semesters...but i have forgotten how week to week the RA lives can be so different....these meetings were held on a day where i went into work at 8:30am and worked straight until midnight....i attended two area council meetings and RA staff meetings during the evening...it made for a long day....and most days i wasn't sure how i would get through...

as you know, i took a three week vacation through this all....it's true, during a 10 week maternity leave, i took 3 weeks off....the grad supervised the staff with lots of support from my other CD....everyone survived just fine....

we had a new conduct system put into place this semester....one that seemed like it would be okay for us- the area really didn't have a lot of conduct issues in the past....that didn't seem true this semester....our case load was heavier and with the new system, things were slowed down....i have been more involved with it than ever before....and if you know me, my dream job would have no student conduct responsibilities....i know it won't ever happen, but a girl can dream....

i asked to work 5 hours a week in our student affairs assessment office....i felt that i needed to learn more about assessment and expand my skills....if i want to be in charge someday, it's a skill i will need to have....these hours have been amazing and the amount i am learning and able to do has been great....i am excited to keep working in this office and continue to learn....i am working on a project right now that is really helping me to see all different sides of assessment and evaluation....i can't wait to see the end product....the other great thing about this experience has been working in a different office and seeing how other offices function on our campus...

safe zone continues to grow...this year i have been able to take on 2 collateral RD's to work 10 hours each week with it....this has given me the chance to get more groundwork completed and continue to get our name out there....our trainings have brought some new a different people to the safe zone....the conservative newspaper executive board came to a training.....the health and counseling centers were trained.....and a few others along the way...we've been able to create a train the trainer program, so starting in the spring new people can be trained to do training....a website has been started, though still needs lots of work....and an advertising program is on it's way, though we have no money to have posters printed....that's a task for the spring.

through all this, i still took one class....i started with two, but had to drop one because i had a sense of reality with my work load....i got through my one class, it was enjoyable....the professor was a little all over the place....but i made some new friends....and had the chance to write part of a strategic plan....something i have wanted to learn to do, and now i have the knowledge and skills to do it....

so, this fall has been a semester to remember....i look back at it and wonder how i made it to december, but here i am....i guess it's true life never gives you something you can't handle...

some random pictures of Viet Nam

now that the first snow has come and it's cold, it made me think of viet nam and the warm weather...i was telling someone at work how i would love to move there....so, here are some more pictures of my trip and the country that seems to have my heart right now.

the food

i was very nervous going to viet nam about eating....lesley had sent me an email right after i booked the trip to tell me the top 5 foods in viet nam- dog, snake, scorpions, and rats...then she asked me what i would try-my response was none of the above...as the months went by, she would send me other foods or drinks that we would find and what would i try....it included snake wine, sheep intestine wine, crickets, and advocado wine....so, my nerves about what we would be fed, grew as the trip came closer....

once we arrived in hanoi, our first meal was dinner....but first our arrival....we got to the hotel and our guide took us for a tour of the neighborhood, so we could feel more comfortable getting around...especially crossing the streets....as we walked through the neighborhood, i noticed lots of things that were very different than what i would see in the u.s.....the first was there were chickens and roosters just wandering around....the next was there were lots of dogs around....i was worried that these dogs were what they ate....

we went to dinner at a restaurant called, "the bannana flower"....there were 8 courses....well, 4 courses, but the entrees had 5 different things....in viet nam you eat family style, so our very long table for 16 was divided into groups of 4, which shared each dish as it arrived....our meals always included water and tea, but you could order beer, soda, or other drinks for a little money....and i do mean little...a can of coca-cola light cost 15,000 vnd (vietnamese dong)....that is less than $1.00....i got a hanoi beer with this dinner, it cost me 20,000 vnd....now onto the food..

our first course was banana flower salad...the salad was served in the banana flower and was delicious....it was a little sweet, was made from the inside of the flower...our next course was HaNoi fried spring rolls....we would eat alot of spring rolls over the next 19 days....once those two courses were over, the main meal started...there were three meat dishes, one vegetable, and rice...we had grilled skewer of pork, fried battered chicken with sweet and sour sauce, sauteed fish with five spices sauce, stir-fried vegetables, and steamed rice....there was not one thing that was put in front of me from this meal that i turned away.....even the fish....our dessert was a flambe banana...
now all our meals were many courses....all came with a variety of dipping sauces- most of which were fish sauce with different stuff in it....we were served alot of fish, most of which i ate...though anything that was too boney, i didn't eat....

one of our meals in Hoi An was a cooking class....our cook was very funny and really incorporated us alot....we first learned how to use banana leaves to cook meat, similar to how we would use tin foil...that night we cooked tuna in the leaves....then we learned to make spring rolls...each person in our group got up and got a chance to roll a roll...it was hysterical...another thing i really enjoyed eating in viet nam was the fruit....everything was sooo fresh, but especially the fruit...i don't eat much fruit here, but i couldn't get enough of it there....the markets were full of fresh fruit, including these dragon fruit...each morning for breakfast i would eat pho and fruit....it was like being in heaven for me....it is probably the meal i miss the most, the pho....one of our last meals was in the mekong delta...we ate elephant ear fish....it is called that because it looks like an elephant ear (an asian elephant, not african)....in the end my fear of the food was unwarrented....there were some different things i did try, those are for another time....i miss the food....it was one thing i couldn't get enough of....

the people

so, the people of viet nam are incredibly friendly....everywhere we went people said hello to us and asked us where we were from....now some of these people tried to sell us stuff, but overall, it is a friendly place....

there is a difference between the people in the north and the south...the northerns are a little more closed...when khanh was explaining it to me it sounded the way that new englanders are often described here...the people in the south were much more open and talkative....

the people of viet nam believe heavily in tradition and looking forward, not back....everything they do has a reason and they don't waste anything....they are hard working and don't have debt....if you live there you don't buy anything unless you have the money for it....your house doesn't get built until you have the money for it....they work many hours a day and on weekends...sunday is family day and people will travel far to spend time with their families....

it is an expectation of the oldest son to take care of the parents as they age....no child moves out of their parents house until they get married....people work until their children are able to support them or they get ill....if there is no son in the family, father will speak to the daughter's husband's family to see if they will allow their son to live with them....it made me think alot about how we treat our own parents as they age....or how some parents don't want to live with their children....

here are some pictures of the people i saw.....

these farmers are harvesting ricethis farmer is feeding his water buffalo

this is mrs. viet...she is showing us how to make rice paperthis is our host family for our home hosted meal in DaLatthis is an example of how much stuff they put on their motorbikes

Viet Nam

the trip of a lifetime has come and gone. i couldn't wait for it to come and when the time came to leave, i couldn't imagine what i would see or do....all i knew of viet nam was the war...well, i didn't really know the war, i just knew there was a war....a war that my father was a veteran of which he never spoke of....so, when it came time to board our first flight out of boston, i didn't know what would lie ahead...what if i couldn't eat the food? what if i couldn't figure out how to use the squat toliets? what if the hotels are scary and full of bugs and other things? it could be the longest 19 days of my life....

we spent over 27 hours in planes and airports....we left at 8am on a tuesday and arrived at 11:30pm on wednesday....the sun did not go down until we left tokyo, wednesday evening.... we lost a day travelling to asia...the time difference between boston and tokyo is 14 hours....between boston and bangkok (our final destination on wednesday) is 12hours....on wednesday our journey ended in bangkok for the night....we arrived at the hotel there after mindnight and had to be up and ready to go again by 7am....so, a short nap is what we had....

on thursday morning we met our group members....the other people we would be spending the next 14 days with....from the start it was obvious i was the youngest person on the trip....i would soon learn i was the only non-retired person on the trip.....we took another flight into viet nam and arrived in Ha Noi....our journey was about to begin....this is our group...



my trip to viet nam was an adventure...it was full of learning and discovery....i was able to do things and see things that i could have never seen if we did this trip on our own....i have been trying to decide the best way to write about the trip....i could do day by day, or by topic...i am going to attempt to do my blogging by topic....from the food to the education system to the war and everything in between.....i hope you will enjoy them....as much as i enjoyed experience every minute of it.

camping

labor day weekend a few of us decided to go camping....we searched out a site and decided on one in the adirondacks....it was called limekiln lake- not far from old forge....this was my second time camping this summer and i was happy to be in the woods and unavailable to the world....

so, we arrive on our campsite and the first thing the attendant explained to me was about black bears...she warned not to leave any food out on our site, in our car, or in the tent....all food needed to go into the food locker...or as i call it, the bear locker





the thought of bear walking onto our campsite to take our food caused me not to sleep all night out first night....but in the morning we had a nice visit from a different woodland creature, which made me feel better about the bears...





Overall, the weekend was relaxing and gave me lots of time to try out my new video camera before i head to vietnam with it....here are some pictures too...

our lakea campfire-my fava view from up above

a new year begins

it's time for my second year of school to start...i can't believe my summer is gone and i am going to be heading back to class once again....

this year i was planning on taking a monday night and thursday night class....however, my monday night class is full...and the waitlist is long....so, i made plans to instead take two thursday classes...one at 4 and one at 7....it will be similar to my first semester at albany, when i had two monday classes....it means that i will be missing an afternoon of work and need to work late on the other days, but the good news is only traveling to albany once a week...

i will be taking administrative planning in higher education and survey research methods....both are with professors i have never had- which makes me nervous...but research methods is with my advisor, so that will be exciting too....the other professor i know nothing about and i am a little sad that i am not taking a class with the one professor that i feel i click well with....his class was the full one....so, i will venture off this year without him....

you maybe wondering what these two classes are all about...i also am wondering....i have already received the book listing for the survey research class- there are 8, that's right, 8 required texts....plus a list of "optional" texts which is 10 books long....i just finished ordering my 8 required, from three different sites, to get the best prices....the grand total, you maybe wondering....$340....yup....just for one class....the course description talks about how the class will help with the understanding of modern research design, including practice in developing questions, designing questionaires, and conducting "mini small scale surveys" (this part of the description came right out of the catalog)....

the administrative planning class simply states- policies to guide growth and development; applications for techiniques on decision making; using planning models....interesting....

well, thursday is my first day....and my new year will begin...

an international holiday

my birthday is pretty important to me....actually, i like to believe it's an international holiday....a day in which everyone i know, and who knows me needs to celebrate, no matter where they are...in the last few years, the international holiday has become difficult for me.

three years ago, i had an outstanding birthday....maybe one of the best i ever had....it was the first month that kristen and i would only be paying one rent, so we decided to splurg....we rented a limo, invited friends along, and went on a wine tour....it was a great day. it started with a surprise of what friends were coming and ended with two tickets to a patriots game....i cried, out of happiness, twice....

in the last three birthdays since then, my friends have been outstanding...doing everything to make the international holiday the best it could be....they have thrown parties, planned day trips and weekends, just about anything they could think of...and i love them all for it.

but the day still seems to be the hardest day each year for me to make it through....it's not just the day, but the month....august in general is a stressful month in my line of work, but this holiday makes it that much harder....i never thought my birthday would be the hardest part of my grief....the hardest holiday to make it through....it makes the missing stronger and sadness more intense....

i will continue to try and find my happiness in the international holiday, but i know it won't ever be the same

the day i became a brunette

so, about a week and a half ago i went to my hairdresser...i was in desperate need of a haircut...i enjoy my hairdresser, she is someone who lives life in an interesting little bubble...it's refreshing to talk with her for the little time that i am getting my hair done....anyway, i sit in her chair and say, "lindsey, it's out of control, we need to do something!" she gives me a scalp massage and then starts talking cut....then she starts about the color..."jen, it's time to get it done, your roots are bad." i knew they were, but there was no time to get the color done that day....during my haircut, she did her normal asking, "can i do your eyebrows? how do you feel about a perm? you have great curl, let me curl it." and she got her normal answers, "no" but we decide i will come in the next week to get the color done.

a week later i arrive for my coloring....lindsey and i had talked about it being time to bring my color closer to it's real color....this way i can go alot longer without having the dying done....i am sitting in the chair and she gets to work....while i am sitting there lindsey is telling me how she really enjoys her work because when she sees repeat customers like me, "it's like hanging out with my friends all day." and she then starts talking about those customers you just don't click with....while she is telling me this, i hear a woman in someone elses chair say, 'i think you cut alot off. it seems very short." now, let me tell you about this woman.

her hair is short....when she came in her hair barely touched her neck....short, that is the only way to describe it....before the hairdresser started the woman said, "don't take more than a 1/4 of inch off." the hairdresser is almost finish and the woman starts to have a fit about how short her hair is- just on and on about how short the hairdresser cut it....the hairdresser insisted she didn't take more than a 1/4 inch off, and even picked up some of the cut off hair (which was hard to do) and showed the woman on the comb that it wasn't any more than she asked....but for the next 10 minutes the woman went on...the owner came over and did her best to calm the customer down, but the woman could not get over the shortness....this is when lindsey turned me around in the chair, pretended to be doing some dying around my face and said, "that is one of those b***chy ones."

after the woman left another customer said to the hairdresser- "it looked good and didn't seem like you cut anything off it." anyway, it was time to rinse and see my new hair...lindsey turned me around in my chair and i said, "wow, it looks black." she assured me that once it was dry it would not look that way....but that it is the color of my natural hair....she dried it and it was lighter than black, but still i am definately a brunette again...

and so it goes....

so, this past week we hosted the annual conference for the regional organization that i am a party of....it was an experience like no other....but for the first time in a while, i felt like our organization found it's groove again....a few years ago we seemed to have lost our "magic"....the feeling i always had was one of being with family, like at a big family reunion....this year, it felt like that again....this was a great experience....

i decided to spend the week living on campus, instead driving to my house each night....i wasn't sure if it would be the right thing to do, but now i am very glad i did....i was at ease with knowing i could go somewhere to get away for a minute if i needed to and i didn't worry about socializing too late in the night....

the big thing is that my official term as president-elect started at the end of the conference....the first time i had to say it out loud, it felt funny....lots of people asked me all week if i was ready....and the honest answer is no....it's so strange to think that this is truly happening...that i am going to be looked to for leadership within the organization....if anyone had said to me 6 years ago when i was first on the executive board that i would be here now, i would have laughed at them....as a matter of fact, i believe i laughed at people who would suggest it, even when i was running....

i had a conversation with a past president one night....she was one of my presidents....and i was saying to her how in my time i have seen each president leave their "thing" behind....something they did to move our organization forward....and i just didn't know if i would have a thing....i could only hope that i have something that i leave behind....i think this next year will be quite an adventure for me....

but the best part of the whole week was catching up with all those people i don't get to see....my neacuho friends....those people who i might not talk to but once a year, but i can't wait to see them each year.....and of course, catching up with those friends who i do see regularly but not for such an extended period of time....i was able to make some new connections this year, a lot of which were with people on my own campus.....i loved every conversation, every tear, every secret shared....

and so, until annuals comes again, i will miss those times....but i appreciate every memory that was made.

what happens when it's time to close

i was recently at one of my favorite programs of the year, called breakfast by moonlight. it happens on the monday of finals week, basically the dining hall serves late night breakfast and the rd staff does some games and gives away prizes...it's just a nice end of the semester celebration and everyone seems to enjoy it....

even though i am not in newing anymore, i still love the program and attended both semesters...this past monday, i found myself there once again, hanging out with the staff and students....one of the events that happened at breakfast by moonlight was the passing of the newing navy plaque from last year's winners to this year winners...so, it went from endicott to chenango...it was nice and the chenango students were very happy to be crowned the new champs....

at the end of the night, i was one of the last people to leave the dining hall...i turned around and saw sitting on the table was the plaque...the new champs had forgotten the prize possession...so, i picked it up, didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands...or to walk away, never to be seen again....the new boss lady of newing knew i had it...and i decided i would do a little adventure with the plaque...

i set up an email account to send the rd of the winning building emails from the plaque...the first said, "i am was left behind, so i decided to take an adventure...don't worry i will be back soon." then the next email to her had this picture in it...


this is the plaque driving the gem car, it's first destination was hillside










while in hillside, the plaque stop for a visit in the office and then to play a little pool....











after the pool, a walk in the nature preserve seemed appropriate





and then it took the chance to take a rest on a bench and take in the scenery...
after taking in the scenery...it was time to head home...

but first the plaque wanted to visit each of the areas....

after checking out each area, the plaque decided it was best to be in newing...where it belonged









thanks b for being a good sport! :)

exhausted....

the end is near....it's been a month since i have written and it's mostly because of the exhaustion i feel....and the stress...and the overwhelming feelings that just don't seem to go away.....but i feel the end coming...

in the last month school has seemed to taken over my life....lots of things have been due, lots of presentations....last week i had my last tuesday class, but still have one more thing due in two weeks....i have my last monday class tomorrow, with my final presentation due....the hope is it all goes smoothly...

as for other things, my first pet, tater got very, very sick....he started acting a little funny...he went to the vet...the vet said, "oh, i think he is just mad at you, since he seems to not be in pain." he gave me some instructions, i followed them....tater seemed to be okay other than his wierd behavior...then this past week i came home and there he laid...he wouldn't get up, he growled at me, and he was just not himself....i called the vet...he made me press on tater's abdomen...no reaction, so he tells me to call this other vet the next morning.....i call first thing and bring tater in....he is in bad shape...bad, bad shape....the vet tells me what needs to be done and i start to cry....she explains that if i can't pay, they can set up a payment plan...i look at her through my tears and explain- it's not the money....so, tater has to stay until saturday....

the emotions i feel for this one little kitty is overwhelming....some of my co-workers and friends kid me about how my animals are my kids....and i guess i realized how much they really are like my own little children...now, i don't want you all to think i am some crazy cat lady, but really, i thought that if i lost tater it would be difficult....how would bella be? and would jack even notice? but really, what would it be like for me....tater was the first other i have lived with harmoniously....he greets me at the door every day when i come home....it would be difficult...

i am happy to report that my baby is recovering nicely....he has a feline disease that he has always had, but has now come out....and he will always be on a special diet....but he is better...

i also have been thinking more and more about my grief....i was talking to a friend recently who told me that you don't ever get over the grief, you just learn to live through it....and i think more everyday that it is true....the pain i have felt since Oct 2006 has not eased...i just have learned to manage it better.....and there are some days that i just wish that it wasn't the management of it, but more the healing of it....but i can't figure out the healing....i have done the things people have said i should do- gone on retreats, seen counselors, reading books....but it's just management of feelings....and there are times when i just can't seem to manage all the feelings, especially lately....

two different couples i know got engaged in the last month....i am happy for them both and their love and happiness is beautiful....it's a struggle at times to keep it all together...to not feel like i missed out on my beautiful happiness....i recently was talking to one of them about what we did to remember kristen and her dad at her brother's wedding....and i almost lost it...the management almost failed me....

there is something about the end of the school year that makes me miss kristen more....i think it's the thought of another year ending, another year of life having happened without her....it's the thought of all that i tried to accomplish and all that she wasn't here for me to tell her about...or react to...or just talk me through it....another thing that makes the management difficult.

so, what i know is that i am exhausted....mostly from trying to manage it all....i need a break...if you have suggestions, i am listening.

it happened here

back in the spring of 1999 i was sitting in my office in dravo....a student walked in, looking distraught but seemed to be unable to speak....i sit her in a chair and she starts to cry uncontrollably....i asked some questions, what happened? are you hurt? is someone else hurt? she tried and tried to pull herself together....but all she could choke out is- i can't get thru....i ask, to who? then my office phone rings...it's one of my ra's telling me that something terrible has happened in colorado...had i seen the news? no, i hadn't seen the news, i had been working all day...and back then we weren't that connected to anything....the ra then said she was looking for one of her residents who was from colorado and she wanted to make sure that the resident wasn't from that area...i said, come to my office now.

that resident had lost a brother and some favorite teachers in columbine....she eventually told me that she couldn't get through to her family to find out what was happening....we got her on a plane as soon as possible...it was such a sad day...but i thought, "i am thankful it didn't happen here."

i think that a lot as i watch the news or hear about terrible tragedies, like columbine, Virginia Tech, Oklahoma City....i think, i live in a sleepy city....i have always lived in sleepy cities...places that you couldn't imagine the unimaginable...until it happens...

on friday it happened here...i was not in the area when it all happened....as a matter of fact i didn't know it happened until lunch time, when i turned on my cell phone again....i had been presenting all morning...a good friend had called to say a shooting happened in binghamton....myself and another friend thought she was wrong...it must be birmingham...not binghamton...because it couldn't happen here. but we were wrong and she was right...it was binghamton...

14 people lost their lives...13 of them were innocent...13 were going about their normal day....13 people who woke up assuming it was just going to be a friday....maybe they were thinking about their plans for the weekend...the 14th person, made the plans....it's scary to think that it happened here...the unimaginable...the unthinkable...the "that could never happen here" happened here.

circus de ole and where's bob?

this past week in class we were talking about "Blue oceans." blue oceans are untapped ideas that people make into money....one that was mentioned in our reading was the cirque du soleil...it was interesting to read about their beginnings and the creator...but what was most fun, was my professor...he kept saying in class, "circus de ole" and i thought for sure i was hearing things...there was no way he was saying that....so, i turned to my classmate and said, "do you hear that?" and she giggles and says, "yes" and then i giggle...and the professor keeps on saying, "let's think of ideas like the circus de ole" and no one corrected him....we all just giggled.

in my tuesday class we figured out who would win the ncaa tournament based on athlete graduation rates....the final would come down to dayton and duke...and duke would just edge out dayton....it'a very interesting to see how athlete graduation rates are figured out....and how they are broken down...in men's basketball it's between african americans and whites....and it's only those who actually stay....so, if you happen to have been on the basketball team in november and then all of a sudden you are off the team in february, you don't count toward graduation rates....it's just another way in which statistics prove nothing. (my stats teacher from the fall would be proud).

now, where is bob? this is a question i received today at barnes and noble...i have not been there in a while to study, but today i decided to give it a try....my table was in an interesting spot, it was a high table near low tables...and there was alot happening....first, there was a young woman who was approached by a young man...they knew each other but had not seen each other in a while....it started as an interesting conversation- "how old are you now?" this was him asking her....my ears perked right up-why not? obviously he was checking to make sure she was old enough to get into her pants....well, this is what i assumed...the conversation went on about where she has traveled to, where she wants to go to college, and what he has been up to (he goes to UAlbany)....she is a senior at Vestal...then the conversation turns to prop 8...my ears really perk up....she then explains to him that she is the president of the GSA...i am impressed...she continues about how prop 8 is wrong, etc...this all ends with her giving him her phone number....she will learn.

then two gay boys come sit at the low table near me....and i get hear their escapades from the night before...not anything i want to hear...i do my best to ignore, but i am like big brother over them....so, it's hard to ignore...but back to bob....so alex follows me into barnes and noble...you might remember alex from other blogs...he wanders around talking to himself...today was no different, except he came up to me and said, "where's bob? did you see where he went?" i looked at him, wide-eyed....i am stunned that he is talking directly to me...i am more stunned that he is looking for someone specific....then before i can say anything, bob comes up to him and walks him to a table...there was a bob...and bob seemed to be having a conversation with alex....i was impressed....later in the night alex's phone rang and he yelled, "MOM! I AM WITH MY FRIENDS. I AM NOT COMING HOME!" this is when i decided to leave....no one needs a mad alex...that might turn into a circus de ole...

hand dryer

this week when i was at school, i went into the bathroom before i left for home...always a good idea so i don't have to stop on scary 88 anywhere to pee....anyway, i do my business, wash my hands, and turn around for paper towels and i see this....





so, after my moment of confusion, i read the sign....you basically stick your hands in between the wall and this device...it turns on and drys them..quickly...it was awesome...and so environmentally friendly...it made my day

hmm...

this week in my life, things have been a bit better....on monday i received news that i won the presidency of the organization i am in....this was good news....my quiz in class that night, became open book, open notebook...this is very good news when you have not studied one bit....tuesday was also good, because there was no news....and now is wednesday....it was a quiet day at work, and we had a good safe zone training...

but let's go back a little...first, to monday night's class...so, i spent all day on sunday in bed...my young, active, social life caught up with me....i laid in my bed until 5pm...something i don't think i have done since college....one of the favorites was here too...she also stayed in bed that long....we got up, made dinner, played a few games and then went back to bed.....notice here- i did not study....i knew i had a quiz on monday night, but i did not study one bit...

i thought i would study at work- right, this has yet to work for me....so, i am not sure why i thought it would be different on this day....no studying at work...i get to class and read through my notes and figure, whatever....this is the same professor who decided on our papers to give us all full credit, no matter how we did on it...so, maybe the same luck would come to me on this night....he taught class first, quiz would be at the end...he handed out the quiz, explains it, and then announces, open book, open notebook....i breath, i think for the first time all night....

as for the win...as you know i had my thoughts about running for president...and i threw my name in the hat and amazingly my name was picked....i am still in shock about this...but first let me tell you about the phone call...

i am sitting in my office and my cell phone rings...one of my secretaries is in the office with me asking me some question about housing, that i probably don't need to answer, but i am answering anyway....i ignore the phone call...secretary leaves- i listen to the voicemail...it's the current past president saying she needs to talk to me about the election...she sounds very serious...i listen to her voicemail a few times (4 to be exact) to see if i can tell anything from her voice...i start to shake because i have decided it must be bad...after all, this past president is usually much more friendly with me...so, i have decided she has bad news and is nervous to talk to me too....

i call back...shaking like crazy....i mean, my whole body is nervous...it was crazy- i remember being this nervous when i started high school, but not really since....so, i call back...i have to tell the person (who i have decided was a student) three times my name before he got it right...then she gets on the phone...she starts by telling me she has unfortunate news for me....i feel the lump but remind myself that i will not cry until the call is done....then the words, "you will have to serve in the president cycle for the next three years." i was shocked...i am still shocked...

i have received a lot of emails since the announcement went out about my win...i appreciate all the warm, kind thoughts that have been sent to me...now, we will see how i do with all this...

woes of home ownership....

last night I decided to skip class....mostly because I had a pretty shitty day at work (but that's a different story)....i got home and heard rushing water in my house, but couldn't find it anywhere....so, I took jack out for his walk and noticed water coming out of the house under the tenant's kitchen window.

I key into her place, and there it is...water spraying out of the cabinet under the sink and about 2-3 inches of water....i get one of the valves shut off, call a friend to see if her dad can come help me, and the tenant....the dad can't come over and the tenant didn't answer. I call the plumber and the gas company. The tenant's gas has been off since last week, for nonpayment- awesome. the electricity, longer....I pay $300 to the gas company for them to change the name on the bill to mine and to come out on thursday to turn everything back on. the plumber explains to me that the circulating pump on the furnace runs on electricity, so the heat has not been working since the power was shut off....a new fact for me to know....he then explains all the possible things that could be wrong-panic sets in.... I pay the plumber $135 to come shut off a valve I could have shut off myself, if I knew where the damn thing was and for the slight panic he has given me....he explains how to heat up the apartment, so there is no more damage.....

I call home owner's insurance- they don't cover damage when there is no heat. i sent the tenant's lease to my brother in law for help....what are my rights? he has a lawyer review it and tell me what to do next....write a letter, highlighting all the places in the lease that show she is liable for the damages and repairs.....put together the total of the repairs- 855 plus carpet replacement....i won't see the money i am sure unless i take her to court....which i am pretty sure i will do....

the best part-i had to clean up the dirty apartment (see pictures) in order to get the carpet dried out....it was gross and no one should have to do that....i put all her crap into plastic bags, placed the bags in the bathroom and left them there....

here is part of the broken sink

the plumber was able to turn my water back on and fix the broken parts today....it only cost 135 and the damage was minimal....as he said to me, "you got lucky this time."

i love my house and owning it...and i love that i have a way to supplement the mortgage payment....but i need to find a way to weed out the idiots....

gratitude

today i was sitting in a waiting room, waiting....i picked up a magazine that on the cover said, "how being grateful can improve your life." so i decided to check it out...

the article asked four women to keep a gratitude journal for two months...everyday they had to record what they were grateful for that day...the women talked about how doing this improved their outlooks and attitudes...and how it made them see the smaller things too....i thought that it is a great idea....

so, today i am grateful for five guys hamburgers and fries....they made me smile after a tough appointment...

a curse

so, a few years ago one of my rd's had said to me, "i think newing is cursed." and he was dead serious....he had said it must be true because of all the crazy things that had happened to the people there, since he had been there....let me give you a recap....

my first year in newing, one of my rd's lost her mother....unexpectedly and sudden.....my second year in newing, i lost my kristen and then my grandfather....and i had two other rd's lose grandparents (including the one that was convinced we were cursed).....also, that year another staff member had lost a very close family friend in a business transaction gone bad....in the third year, not too much happened- or if i did, i have put it out of my mind...

i would like to take this all one step further....i beleive that binghamton is cursed...maybe just for me and my friends...but i think it is....i feel like i live in this crazy, strange world, where lots of loss happens and i don't understand any of it....

i say this because yesterday (monday) one of my very good friends here lost her sister.....her 33 year old sister....they have no idea what happened or why she is gone....but she is...i remember this nightmare from almost 3 years ago....the phone call, the confusion....the not understanding why it's happening....what the hell did we do? it's not like this is the first thing that has happened in three years...

another friend is in the process of losing a relationship....i just listen to it and can't understand why this would happen to her.....it doesn't make sense....why something that seemed good, turns on it's head....and she isn't the only one...in the last six months there has just been break up after break up....i do wonder what the hell is in the water....

and i know the list goes on....but really, why does anyone, who is healthy, lose their life at 27 or 33....the same cursed RD once said to me, "jen, grandparents are supposed to die. not the others." so, i ask, why the others then...what is it about? why do the rest of us have to suffer through these things....why are any of us asked to find the strength to get through....and when does one stop finding the strength?

i have this incredible group of friends who for our young ages have experienced too much death...parents, partners, siblings, friends....friends who have experienced illnesses with family...taking care of a young parent, cancer.....i just don't get it....and maybe we found each other for a reason....maybe we are supposed to be each other's strengths....but really, i think we need a break....

be a mom

on thursday morning i was with some co-workers heading toward a conference in purchase, ny....well on thursday we had a board meeting, friday was the conference....there are four of us from binghamton on the executive board and it's not often that we car pool....but this time we were....

anyway, in the car, i announced that i was approved for a 19 day vacation....then i said, i was going to vietnam....but one of the people in the car with us says to me, "you're going to be a mom?" we all laughed...because as most of you know, kids is not my thing....it's also not something that would happen easily for me, if i did want them....so, me announcing i am going to be a mom, is very funny in a lot of ways....

once it was explained to him that i was not going to be a mom, that in fact i was going to vietnam....so, i am going to vietnam for 19 days in october...i am going to be travelling with my parents.....it should be very interesting....my dad is a vet of the vietnam war, so i think it will be great to be with him there again....i am a little worried about him going back, as is my stepmother, but we will be there with him....so, i am hoping that will help alot....

if you want to check out my trip, check here....http://www.oattravel.com/gcc/general/default.aspx?oid=226223&linklocation=search....the inside vietnam trip....

so, i am not going to be a mom....just visiting vietnam