my birthday is pretty important to me....actually, i like to believe it's an international holiday....a day in which everyone i know, and who knows me needs to celebrate, no matter where they are...in the last few years, the international holiday has become difficult for me.
three years ago, i had an outstanding birthday....maybe one of the best i ever had....it was the first month that kristen and i would only be paying one rent, so we decided to splurg....we rented a limo, invited friends along, and went on a wine tour....it was a great day. it started with a surprise of what friends were coming and ended with two tickets to a patriots game....i cried, out of happiness, twice....
in the last three birthdays since then, my friends have been outstanding...doing everything to make the international holiday the best it could be....they have thrown parties, planned day trips and weekends, just about anything they could think of...and i love them all for it.
but the day still seems to be the hardest day each year for me to make it through....it's not just the day, but the month....august in general is a stressful month in my line of work, but this holiday makes it that much harder....i never thought my birthday would be the hardest part of my grief....the hardest holiday to make it through....it makes the missing stronger and sadness more intense....
i will continue to try and find my happiness in the international holiday, but i know it won't ever be the same
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