back in may i decided to take the plunge and try on-line dating....it was something i only shared with one other person...mostly because i wasn't sure i was ready for it....but knew i had to at least try....
so, it started....since i first tried it in may, i have since learned from many people that they met their significant other on-line....and have had the opportunity to share some of the stories that go along with on-line dating....
i have a few stories myself....there was the woman who never met me, but was annoyed almost instantly with me because i didn't answer her emails with in a certain prescribed time....of course, i am still not sure what that timeline was, but i think if i answered them within 2 minutes, it still wouldn't have been fast enough....
then there were the two woman who talked to me on the phone a few times each....things seemed to be going well...one asked me to meet for coffee, i agreed, but never heard where or when....the other just stopped communicating altogether....no explanation, nothing....just never heard from her again....
i actually made it on one date....the woman was a little pushy about setting up the date, insisting that it happen the next day and it's over dinner...no matter what i tried to push it back to another day or not dinner, it didn't work....i finally gave in....dinner was painful....it started with the judgmental look she gave my clothes (mind you i was dressed appropriately for the restaurant she picked)....then it painfully lasted 3 hours....she picked up on none of my non-verbals, or even verbal hints....i had made an escape plan for myself, a story about jack being sick, so it was time to bring the story out....so, i used the story and stood up....she got that hint....on our way out, she told me what a great time she had and wanted to see me again....i thought for a minute and decided to be honest....there outside the restaurant i told her that i didn't think things would go anywhere and that i didn't want to try this again....my bluntness didn't sink in, the next day she emailed me about getting together again....i again was straight forward with her....
as i was about to give up on on-line dating, i decided to give one more woman a chance....we met for coffee....which lasted 3 hours....a different kind of 3 hours....we hit it off well, and i am happy to say almost 4 months later, things are still going well....
over the months i have talked to many people who have on-line dating stories....something that i thought i was alone in or a minority at least....but i am happy to hear the stories and to know that lots of people do it....
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Texas
I recently spent some time in Austin, TX....i was there for a conference and had never been to that part of texas before....
it was hot there....close to or over 100 everyday....but on our first day, we ventured out to eat tex-mex and explore downtown austin....we walked up and down historic 6th street, which was full of bars, restaurants, and tattoo parlors....austin is known as music city and has a large variety of bands playing each night in the bars downtown....we then walked down to the congress st bridge.
there are bats that live under the bridge, and each night between may and august they come out at dusk....and it's supposed to be a site to see....so, we decided that after dinner we would come back to see these bats- even though i think they are creepy....
however, when we returned at dusk, with all the other tourists....
the people were everywhere....including in the river
and we all just waited....while the sun went down and the moon came out...
but the bats never came out.....
later in the week we visited the state capitol building.....it was interesting to take a tour of the building, learn about the politics of the state....what I learned the most was that texas believes it should be it's own country.....
the building is made of rose granite....it's a very subtle pink color....
all over the building you would find things in the ceilings and floors to remind people that texas is best....
after visiting the capitol building we walked up to u of t....the size of the campus was overwhelming....from the 10+ story football stadium to it's clock tower in the center of campus....
the clock tower has been closed for a very long time because a student opened fire on the campus from the top of the tower....
overall, austin wasn't a place i would go back to.....but i did get to see plenty of it....and eat my way through it :)
it was hot there....close to or over 100 everyday....but on our first day, we ventured out to eat tex-mex and explore downtown austin....we walked up and down historic 6th street, which was full of bars, restaurants, and tattoo parlors....austin is known as music city and has a large variety of bands playing each night in the bars downtown....we then walked down to the congress st bridge.
there are bats that live under the bridge, and each night between may and august they come out at dusk....and it's supposed to be a site to see....so, we decided that after dinner we would come back to see these bats- even though i think they are creepy....
however, when we returned at dusk, with all the other tourists....
the people were everywhere....including in the river
and we all just waited....while the sun went down and the moon came out...
later in the week we visited the state capitol building.....it was interesting to take a tour of the building, learn about the politics of the state....what I learned the most was that texas believes it should be it's own country.....
after visiting the capitol building we walked up to u of t....the size of the campus was overwhelming....from the 10+ story football stadium to it's clock tower in the center of campus....
overall, austin wasn't a place i would go back to.....but i did get to see plenty of it....and eat my way through it :)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
What I've Learned about Shingles...
Here are a few things that I have learned about shingles in the last two weeks:
1. when you get over the chicken pox as a child, the virus lives on your nerve endings, waiting for you to be an adult.
2. it's not an 80 year old person disease...anyone can get it, who is of the adult age.
3. it's the most painful thing i have ever experienced, it has to do with it living on your nerve endings.
4. it takes more than two weeks for it to go away- as of day 16 the last of it is scabbing
5. the medicine you take causes more pain, as it gives you a severe headache
6. the doctor at the walk in in Bristol,RI has NO bedside manner, he likes to use words like determental, horrible, terrible, melted cornea...all before explaining to you what it is you have.
7. the walk in in Bristol, RI also sends you an extra bill after you have paid the bill in full at time of service
8. you typically don't get shingles in your eyes if it starts in your scalp and forehead....you can get it in your eyes if you get it on your nose and cheek area.
9. the eye doctor knows what's best for your eyes, don't question him
10. my real doctor in Endicott, NY has wonderful bedside manner and made it all feel better....the RI guy should take some lessons
1. when you get over the chicken pox as a child, the virus lives on your nerve endings, waiting for you to be an adult.
2. it's not an 80 year old person disease...anyone can get it, who is of the adult age.
3. it's the most painful thing i have ever experienced, it has to do with it living on your nerve endings.
4. it takes more than two weeks for it to go away- as of day 16 the last of it is scabbing
5. the medicine you take causes more pain, as it gives you a severe headache
6. the doctor at the walk in in Bristol,RI has NO bedside manner, he likes to use words like determental, horrible, terrible, melted cornea...all before explaining to you what it is you have.
7. the walk in in Bristol, RI also sends you an extra bill after you have paid the bill in full at time of service
8. you typically don't get shingles in your eyes if it starts in your scalp and forehead....you can get it in your eyes if you get it on your nose and cheek area.
9. the eye doctor knows what's best for your eyes, don't question him
10. my real doctor in Endicott, NY has wonderful bedside manner and made it all feel better....the RI guy should take some lessons
Monday, June 14, 2010
it's official
so, on friday night, i officially became the president of neacuho...it's a little crazy to believe....
my dad, lesley, marney, michele, elise, and melinda all came in for my speech....julie, scott, casey, kim, and jana were already there....i spent the week nervous and wondering what i had gotten myself into....in this role, lots of people want to tell me how to do things, what the organization needs, and anything else i will listen to....the politics of it all, is amazing, but it will be a great lesson for me as the year goes on....
my nerves caused me to break out in a rash...one that ignored most of the week, until on saturday morning when it had spread to my eyelid....that's when my friends told me i had to go to the walk in....the doctor there was bad and mean...but i learned i had shingles.....something that i assumed most people get when they are much older...for me it was stressed induced....my doctor has since told me that it's normal and stress related.....
i have started my president's blog, if you are interested in reading that....www.neacuhoprez1.blogspot.com....
my dad, lesley, marney, michele, elise, and melinda all came in for my speech....julie, scott, casey, kim, and jana were already there....i spent the week nervous and wondering what i had gotten myself into....in this role, lots of people want to tell me how to do things, what the organization needs, and anything else i will listen to....the politics of it all, is amazing, but it will be a great lesson for me as the year goes on....
my nerves caused me to break out in a rash...one that ignored most of the week, until on saturday morning when it had spread to my eyelid....that's when my friends told me i had to go to the walk in....the doctor there was bad and mean...but i learned i had shingles.....something that i assumed most people get when they are much older...for me it was stressed induced....my doctor has since told me that it's normal and stress related.....
i have started my president's blog, if you are interested in reading that....www.neacuhoprez1.blogspot.com....
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The Parkway
last monday i was on my way home....i was in bliss because it was the first day of summer hours, which means getting out of work an hour early...this was very exciting to me because i had errands to run one on the parkway and the other at the grocery store...getting out at 4 meant that i would still be home by 5 and have the whole night to do what i pleased....
as i drove down the parkway, i was in my own little world, not paying much attention to what was around me...when i noticed a red car pull along side me and slow down so they were driving side by side with me....this made me look at them...(i learned in soc 101 that you always look, it's just human nature)....anyway, the man driving the car starts yelling at me, "hey dyke, get the f**k out of here...we don't want your type around here, dyke....stupid homo." i was shocked...we came to a red light at that point where i hoped that the man wouldn't be directly across from me...i didn't know what he would do...i was in luck, because there was a car in front of him, none in front of me, so there was some distance between us...
once the light turned, the red car sped up and then cut me off....at this point i was very aware of my surroundings, so i saw what he was doing....otherwise, he would have side swiped me....he cut me off and then gave me two obscene gestures as he sped off....
i was in such shock and shaking...i couldn't believe that this happened in my little community...i haven't experienced this before and am still a little shocked that it happened....
as i drove down the parkway, i was in my own little world, not paying much attention to what was around me...when i noticed a red car pull along side me and slow down so they were driving side by side with me....this made me look at them...(i learned in soc 101 that you always look, it's just human nature)....anyway, the man driving the car starts yelling at me, "hey dyke, get the f**k out of here...we don't want your type around here, dyke....stupid homo." i was shocked...we came to a red light at that point where i hoped that the man wouldn't be directly across from me...i didn't know what he would do...i was in luck, because there was a car in front of him, none in front of me, so there was some distance between us...
once the light turned, the red car sped up and then cut me off....at this point i was very aware of my surroundings, so i saw what he was doing....otherwise, he would have side swiped me....he cut me off and then gave me two obscene gestures as he sped off....
i was in such shock and shaking...i couldn't believe that this happened in my little community...i haven't experienced this before and am still a little shocked that it happened....
Thursday, May 13, 2010
one month to go....
in one month, i will be the president....it's hard to believe that it is fast approaching....i have spent the last few weeks putting a lot of pieces together....agonizing over decisions....and wondering what i got myself into...
my first big decision was about appointed board members....what to do about committee's who had no chair applications, what to do with committee's that had multiple, and who should be appointed....i have made tough decisions before, but these decisions really weighed on me....i spent a lot of my travel time between albany and bingo thinking about it...wondering who was best, what the organization needed, what i needed as the president....i had to tell some people i wasn't reappointing them....i had to ask others if they would consider being on the board....overall, i did what i hope is best....
i have been working on my goals for the year...the biggest being a self-study....getting that off the ground has already been an experience....and i can't wait to see what else it will bring....i'm excited about the chair i appointed and feel the other members of the task force are strong....my other goals are not as big of an under taking....those i will keep to myself until my big speech....
my speech is not written, though i again have spent a lot of albany to binghamton time thinking about it....i am already nervous about speaking in front of everyone....my parents and friends will be there, which is nice of them all....
i will be blogging during my presidency...if you would like to follow it, you can check it out on our website at neacuho.org or http://neacuhoprez1.blogspot.com/....i won't start writing on it until right before the annual next month....
my first big decision was about appointed board members....what to do about committee's who had no chair applications, what to do with committee's that had multiple, and who should be appointed....i have made tough decisions before, but these decisions really weighed on me....i spent a lot of my travel time between albany and bingo thinking about it...wondering who was best, what the organization needed, what i needed as the president....i had to tell some people i wasn't reappointing them....i had to ask others if they would consider being on the board....overall, i did what i hope is best....
i have been working on my goals for the year...the biggest being a self-study....getting that off the ground has already been an experience....and i can't wait to see what else it will bring....i'm excited about the chair i appointed and feel the other members of the task force are strong....my other goals are not as big of an under taking....those i will keep to myself until my big speech....
my speech is not written, though i again have spent a lot of albany to binghamton time thinking about it....i am already nervous about speaking in front of everyone....my parents and friends will be there, which is nice of them all....
i will be blogging during my presidency...if you would like to follow it, you can check it out on our website at neacuho.org or http://neacuhoprez1.blogspot.com/....i won't start writing on it until right before the annual next month....
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
tuesday nights...
i am taking this not so interesting class on tuesday nights this semester...the professor doesn't really teach and the teaching is left up to the class...
a few weeks ago, two of my classmates presented on teacher reward systems....they decided to do a jeopardy type game for the class to participate in...it was creative, but i am not sure what i learned....but what was more interesting me to was, a classmate....i shall call him, mr. important...
mr. important walked into class about 15 minutes late....the people leading class for that day directed him which group to join....so, he sat with his group...and the game began...it was set up just like jeopardy and the class seemed to get a little into it....well, about 1/2 way through the first round, mr. important stood up and walked out of the class....just walked right out....
this week, i was the first to arrive to class...then mr. important came in....he sat in a seat behind me....he got up and moved to a seat on the other side of the class room....then he got up and sat in the row next to me....then he got up and moved to another seat behind me....someone else came into to class, so mr. important then walked out of the room....when he came back, he sat in a different seat....but then right before class started he moved one more time....the man changed his seat over and over again....
so, once the presenter was done this week, the professor decided to teach a little....the first thing that came out of the professor's mouth was that the TRIO programs don't exist anymore....i raised my hand and disagreed, but the prof wouldn't hear it....i basically stopped listening to the man, because i realized how profs can just spew crap and students will just take it as fact....the prof went on for about 45 minutes...the whole time mr. important behind me was sighing loudly...rude loudly...i guess he was done listening....
this is how i spend my tuesday nights in albany....with a prof who i don't believe and mr. important.
a few weeks ago, two of my classmates presented on teacher reward systems....they decided to do a jeopardy type game for the class to participate in...it was creative, but i am not sure what i learned....but what was more interesting me to was, a classmate....i shall call him, mr. important...
mr. important walked into class about 15 minutes late....the people leading class for that day directed him which group to join....so, he sat with his group...and the game began...it was set up just like jeopardy and the class seemed to get a little into it....well, about 1/2 way through the first round, mr. important stood up and walked out of the class....just walked right out....
this week, i was the first to arrive to class...then mr. important came in....he sat in a seat behind me....he got up and moved to a seat on the other side of the class room....then he got up and sat in the row next to me....then he got up and moved to another seat behind me....someone else came into to class, so mr. important then walked out of the room....when he came back, he sat in a different seat....but then right before class started he moved one more time....the man changed his seat over and over again....
so, once the presenter was done this week, the professor decided to teach a little....the first thing that came out of the professor's mouth was that the TRIO programs don't exist anymore....i raised my hand and disagreed, but the prof wouldn't hear it....i basically stopped listening to the man, because i realized how profs can just spew crap and students will just take it as fact....the prof went on for about 45 minutes...the whole time mr. important behind me was sighing loudly...rude loudly...i guess he was done listening....
this is how i spend my tuesday nights in albany....with a prof who i don't believe and mr. important.
Friday, March 12, 2010
4am knocks
on friday morning just before 4am, jack started to bark....it was his protect the house bark....now, the tenant's children come over every morning just before 5am, and not knowing at the time the barking started, i assumed it was the children....so, i called jack to come back, but he just kept barking....
then i heard knocking on my door....i couldn't imagine who was knocking on my door, so i got up and asked, "who is it?" it was the tenant's girlfriend....now, she has a little kid voice...it's high pitched and whiny....she proceeds to say to me through the door- "jen, there is a gas leak in our apartment...you have to get out now." it takes me a few seconds to comprehend what she is saying to me and I say, "oh, ok."
i then proceed to get dressed, get the dogs, think about if i should try to get the cats together....i decide that the cats will be okay and the house probably isn't going to explode....i go outside and there are the tenants....they proceed to tell me that they could smell gas in the apartment, so they called 911 and NYSEG....i asked if the heat was on in the apartment, because there had been some furnace issues and i thought maybe the pilot light had gone out again....but the girlfriend told me she shut the heat off, so she didn't know....so, we wait...
within minutes the state police arrive....they ask who made the call, who is the owner, and what the issue was....they then proceeded into the house....they come out a few minutes later and say, "we don't smell anything, but the fire department should be here shortly and they can tell us." then the fire chief arrived, he went inside and came out saying the same thing- didn't smell anything, but the fire truck would have a detector on it, so that should tell them something....
so, now i am standing outside my house, in the chilly weather, and up pulls a fire truck....i haven't seen a fire truck at my residence since i lived on campus....but there it was....a fire truck, the chief's SUV, and the state police....the fire people went into the apartment with a machine that is made to detect gas....after about 5 minutes they came out to say they machine didn't detect anything....great! let's go back to bed...but no, we have to wait for NYSEG to arrive and clear everything...
we wait about 15 minutes for the NYSEG man to arrive...meanwhile, the dogs are getting whiny...the way i assume a child would get whiny about having to stand outside in the cold at 4am....i put them into the car and turn it on- because i have taken the keys in case i have to leave the house....the man finally arrives and enters the house with the chief....when they come back out, the NYSEG man tells me the smell is from the stove and carbon build up....he says he will come back in and show us and turn down the pilot light...
the chief pulls me aside and informs me about a new law about carbon monoxide detectors....i asked how i would know, he said from the radio and tv....i don't really listen to the radio and lately only watch tivo tv....anyway, he also says the smoke detectors have been taken apart and while he understands that it's not me who did it, i am still the landlord...great- he hands me a form that states i am in violation of these two codes....great.
in the house, the NYSEG man turns down the pilot and then informs me, in front of the tenants, that the stove is old and maybe should be replaced....i turn to him, remember at this point it's almost 5am, and say, "are you a stove expert?" shocked the man asked me to repeat myself....i do and when he tells me he is not, i say, "great, because i would assume a stove expert would know best if a stove is not usable anymore." he then explains that his reasoning is that the gas takes approximately 2 seconds to come on with the stove....i just stared at him....in my head all i can think is, "every gas stove i have ever used takes a second or two to start." really, nyseg man, really?!
in the end, there was no gas leak...the pilot light on the stove was too high and causing a carbon build up on the metal of the stove...this was the smell that lead to my 4am wake up call.
then i heard knocking on my door....i couldn't imagine who was knocking on my door, so i got up and asked, "who is it?" it was the tenant's girlfriend....now, she has a little kid voice...it's high pitched and whiny....she proceeds to say to me through the door- "jen, there is a gas leak in our apartment...you have to get out now." it takes me a few seconds to comprehend what she is saying to me and I say, "oh, ok."
i then proceed to get dressed, get the dogs, think about if i should try to get the cats together....i decide that the cats will be okay and the house probably isn't going to explode....i go outside and there are the tenants....they proceed to tell me that they could smell gas in the apartment, so they called 911 and NYSEG....i asked if the heat was on in the apartment, because there had been some furnace issues and i thought maybe the pilot light had gone out again....but the girlfriend told me she shut the heat off, so she didn't know....so, we wait...
within minutes the state police arrive....they ask who made the call, who is the owner, and what the issue was....they then proceeded into the house....they come out a few minutes later and say, "we don't smell anything, but the fire department should be here shortly and they can tell us." then the fire chief arrived, he went inside and came out saying the same thing- didn't smell anything, but the fire truck would have a detector on it, so that should tell them something....
so, now i am standing outside my house, in the chilly weather, and up pulls a fire truck....i haven't seen a fire truck at my residence since i lived on campus....but there it was....a fire truck, the chief's SUV, and the state police....the fire people went into the apartment with a machine that is made to detect gas....after about 5 minutes they came out to say they machine didn't detect anything....great! let's go back to bed...but no, we have to wait for NYSEG to arrive and clear everything...
we wait about 15 minutes for the NYSEG man to arrive...meanwhile, the dogs are getting whiny...the way i assume a child would get whiny about having to stand outside in the cold at 4am....i put them into the car and turn it on- because i have taken the keys in case i have to leave the house....the man finally arrives and enters the house with the chief....when they come back out, the NYSEG man tells me the smell is from the stove and carbon build up....he says he will come back in and show us and turn down the pilot light...
the chief pulls me aside and informs me about a new law about carbon monoxide detectors....i asked how i would know, he said from the radio and tv....i don't really listen to the radio and lately only watch tivo tv....anyway, he also says the smoke detectors have been taken apart and while he understands that it's not me who did it, i am still the landlord...great- he hands me a form that states i am in violation of these two codes....great.
in the house, the NYSEG man turns down the pilot and then informs me, in front of the tenants, that the stove is old and maybe should be replaced....i turn to him, remember at this point it's almost 5am, and say, "are you a stove expert?" shocked the man asked me to repeat myself....i do and when he tells me he is not, i say, "great, because i would assume a stove expert would know best if a stove is not usable anymore." he then explains that his reasoning is that the gas takes approximately 2 seconds to come on with the stove....i just stared at him....in my head all i can think is, "every gas stove i have ever used takes a second or two to start." really, nyseg man, really?!
in the end, there was no gas leak...the pilot light on the stove was too high and causing a carbon build up on the metal of the stove...this was the smell that lead to my 4am wake up call.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
100 days or so....
so, last week i was in boston for a neacuho executive board meeting and one day conference....it's our usual february event...during the welcome at the drive in, it was announced that we were 100 days away from our annual conference....which means that we are 100 days away from my presidency starting....
100 days! i can't believe it....i feel like i was just contemplating running for the position....never mind getting elected and spending the last months in the president elect role....i have to say that i have a great deal of passion and love for neacuho....i care about the organization and what it does and can offer to our profession....so, running for the position, made sense based on that....
since june i have been working on a lot of things...mostly laying the ground work for what will drive my presidency....the work that the president-elect is responsible for is not a lot of fun...or at least in my opinion....i have had to collect bids for the 2011 annual conference...then conduct site visits for those bids....i have been working with some of our committees and task forces to help them accomplish their work, or just showing them general support....
now, with 100 days to go, i am starting our appointed board member process....this is the part where i get to start to put together my board...some of my board will be elected, others i get to pick....i have been putting thought into what i want to accomplish....what i will say in my speech....i have to give a speech....
i can't believe it's 100 days away....during my time in boston, lots of people suddenly wanted to tell me their thoughts about my presidency or neacuho....since returning, more people have wanted my ear....it's funny to me how that happens...how all of a sudden my ear was the ear people wanted....i really prefer to be in the background....
now, i know most of you know that i like to be in charge....and it's true....and being president is an in charge place....but to me there are different types of being in charge...and i am not sure the president is the place for me....i have 100 days to figure that out....i think it is more about all the people who want to tell me how to run things....let me run it my way....
it's important to me that our membership is heard and that we are doing work for them....that is the ear i don't mind lending....so, i will spend the next 100 days, putting everything in place....writing my speech....and hoping that i make it through my 365 day role....
100 days! i can't believe it....i feel like i was just contemplating running for the position....never mind getting elected and spending the last months in the president elect role....i have to say that i have a great deal of passion and love for neacuho....i care about the organization and what it does and can offer to our profession....so, running for the position, made sense based on that....
since june i have been working on a lot of things...mostly laying the ground work for what will drive my presidency....the work that the president-elect is responsible for is not a lot of fun...or at least in my opinion....i have had to collect bids for the 2011 annual conference...then conduct site visits for those bids....i have been working with some of our committees and task forces to help them accomplish their work, or just showing them general support....
now, with 100 days to go, i am starting our appointed board member process....this is the part where i get to start to put together my board...some of my board will be elected, others i get to pick....i have been putting thought into what i want to accomplish....what i will say in my speech....i have to give a speech....
i can't believe it's 100 days away....during my time in boston, lots of people suddenly wanted to tell me their thoughts about my presidency or neacuho....since returning, more people have wanted my ear....it's funny to me how that happens...how all of a sudden my ear was the ear people wanted....i really prefer to be in the background....
now, i know most of you know that i like to be in charge....and it's true....and being president is an in charge place....but to me there are different types of being in charge...and i am not sure the president is the place for me....i have 100 days to figure that out....i think it is more about all the people who want to tell me how to run things....let me run it my way....
it's important to me that our membership is heard and that we are doing work for them....that is the ear i don't mind lending....so, i will spend the next 100 days, putting everything in place....writing my speech....and hoping that i make it through my 365 day role....
Sunday, February 21, 2010
February
it's been a while since i posted...i know....and i have had a lot to write about, but just don't seem to have the time to do the writing....
i was thinking this past week about the month of february....how it's the shortest month of the year, but seems to be the one of hardest months to get through....i don't understand it, why it brings the pain it does...i mean i can pin point events and days, that make it hard....i can blame the missing piece of my heart and that throughout february you are reminded of love.....or the the fact that winter has been here and been here too long at this point....
i have tried to keep myself busy with work, school, friends....anything to keep my mind off of the month....and it's worked to a point....but i am still alone, so no matter how busy i might be, there i find myself alone....
february will be over in a few days....and march will be here....with march comes the hopefulness for spring....flowers and trees begin to bloom again....and then february can be behind us, until next year...
i was thinking this past week about the month of february....how it's the shortest month of the year, but seems to be the one of hardest months to get through....i don't understand it, why it brings the pain it does...i mean i can pin point events and days, that make it hard....i can blame the missing piece of my heart and that throughout february you are reminded of love.....or the the fact that winter has been here and been here too long at this point....
i have tried to keep myself busy with work, school, friends....anything to keep my mind off of the month....and it's worked to a point....but i am still alone, so no matter how busy i might be, there i find myself alone....
february will be over in a few days....and march will be here....with march comes the hopefulness for spring....flowers and trees begin to bloom again....and then february can be behind us, until next year...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
tipping
so, last week i was out with some friends and our check arrived....we figured out who owed what and gave the waiter our cash....the change was $5....now the check was $35.00 and one person was paying with their debit card....she left a $2 tip on her card for her part of the check....the $5 change came as a $5 bill....no singles, just a 5....this annoyed me, because to me the waiter was making the assumption that we were going to leave him a $7 tip....now our bill was for 6 glasses of wine...and the waiter wasn't that great, definately not deserving of a 20%+ tip...
this made me think of a little story from viet nam....(i know you are surprised). lesley and i decided to get a foot massage in hanoi....we had been walking around all day and the massage was $4 for 1/2 hour...a bargin- right? so during the massage my massager kept telling me how beautiful i was and how white my skin was....i told her it was winter back home, which is why my skin was so white...little did i know she was admiring my white skin and wishing her's was white too...when the massage was over it was time to tip our two ladies...they had done an excellent job....when we first arrived in viet nam our guide had told us we should tip about 10%....so, we decided to give them $2 each...i handed my lady her tip and she said to me, "no-this is not enough"- i was thrown off....what did she mean not enough? i had paid for the massage already, so why wasn't the tip enough? i was confused....lesley's lady said the same thing to her....so, we looked at them and then at each other- what now?
now, at this point i felt like we had two options- give them more money and leave quietly or refuse to give them more money and maybe not get out of the place at all....i told lesley we should just give them the money....there was no way i wanted to start trouble...so, we handed them each another dollar- which still wasn't enough...so the tip ended up being $4....that's right- they each got a 100% tip...
later we asked our guide about this and he said that custom is to give hairdressers and massagers a 50% tip....he did say that people in his country are forward about that....he also let us know that in most restaurants you don't leave a tip and some waiters take it as an insult....the whole tipping thing was confusing, but for the rest of the trip- the people who gave me manicures, massages, and gave me the best hair washing i've ever had got a 50% tip....
this made me think of a little story from viet nam....(i know you are surprised). lesley and i decided to get a foot massage in hanoi....we had been walking around all day and the massage was $4 for 1/2 hour...a bargin- right? so during the massage my massager kept telling me how beautiful i was and how white my skin was....i told her it was winter back home, which is why my skin was so white...little did i know she was admiring my white skin and wishing her's was white too...when the massage was over it was time to tip our two ladies...they had done an excellent job....when we first arrived in viet nam our guide had told us we should tip about 10%....so, we decided to give them $2 each...i handed my lady her tip and she said to me, "no-this is not enough"- i was thrown off....what did she mean not enough? i had paid for the massage already, so why wasn't the tip enough? i was confused....lesley's lady said the same thing to her....so, we looked at them and then at each other- what now?
now, at this point i felt like we had two options- give them more money and leave quietly or refuse to give them more money and maybe not get out of the place at all....i told lesley we should just give them the money....there was no way i wanted to start trouble...so, we handed them each another dollar- which still wasn't enough...so the tip ended up being $4....that's right- they each got a 100% tip...
later we asked our guide about this and he said that custom is to give hairdressers and massagers a 50% tip....he did say that people in his country are forward about that....he also let us know that in most restaurants you don't leave a tip and some waiters take it as an insult....the whole tipping thing was confusing, but for the rest of the trip- the people who gave me manicures, massages, and gave me the best hair washing i've ever had got a 50% tip....
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