so, a few years ago one of my rd's had said to me, "i think newing is cursed." and he was dead serious....he had said it must be true because of all the crazy things that had happened to the people there, since he had been there....let me give you a recap....
my first year in newing, one of my rd's lost her mother....unexpectedly and sudden.....my second year in newing, i lost my kristen and then my grandfather....and i had two other rd's lose grandparents (including the one that was convinced we were cursed).....also, that year another staff member had lost a very close family friend in a business transaction gone bad....in the third year, not too much happened- or if i did, i have put it out of my mind...
i would like to take this all one step further....i beleive that binghamton is cursed...maybe just for me and my friends...but i think it is....i feel like i live in this crazy, strange world, where lots of loss happens and i don't understand any of it....
i say this because yesterday (monday) one of my very good friends here lost her sister.....her 33 year old sister....they have no idea what happened or why she is gone....but she is...i remember this nightmare from almost 3 years ago....the phone call, the confusion....the not understanding why it's happening....what the hell did we do? it's not like this is the first thing that has happened in three years...
another friend is in the process of losing a relationship....i just listen to it and can't understand why this would happen to her.....it doesn't make sense....why something that seemed good, turns on it's head....and she isn't the only one...in the last six months there has just been break up after break up....i do wonder what the hell is in the water....
and i know the list goes on....but really, why does anyone, who is healthy, lose their life at 27 or 33....the same cursed RD once said to me, "jen, grandparents are supposed to die. not the others." so, i ask, why the others then...what is it about? why do the rest of us have to suffer through these things....why are any of us asked to find the strength to get through....and when does one stop finding the strength?
i have this incredible group of friends who for our young ages have experienced too much death...parents, partners, siblings, friends....friends who have experienced illnesses with family...taking care of a young parent, cancer.....i just don't get it....and maybe we found each other for a reason....maybe we are supposed to be each other's strengths....but really, i think we need a break....
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
be a mom
on thursday morning i was with some co-workers heading toward a conference in purchase, ny....well on thursday we had a board meeting, friday was the conference....there are four of us from binghamton on the executive board and it's not often that we car pool....but this time we were....
anyway, in the car, i announced that i was approved for a 19 day vacation....then i said, i was going to vietnam....but one of the people in the car with us says to me, "you're going to be a mom?" we all laughed...because as most of you know, kids is not my thing....it's also not something that would happen easily for me, if i did want them....so, me announcing i am going to be a mom, is very funny in a lot of ways....
once it was explained to him that i was not going to be a mom, that in fact i was going to vietnam....so, i am going to vietnam for 19 days in october...i am going to be travelling with my parents.....it should be very interesting....my dad is a vet of the vietnam war, so i think it will be great to be with him there again....i am a little worried about him going back, as is my stepmother, but we will be there with him....so, i am hoping that will help alot....
if you want to check out my trip, check here....http://www.oattravel.com/gcc/general/default.aspx?oid=226223&linklocation=search....the inside vietnam trip....
so, i am not going to be a mom....just visiting vietnam
anyway, in the car, i announced that i was approved for a 19 day vacation....then i said, i was going to vietnam....but one of the people in the car with us says to me, "you're going to be a mom?" we all laughed...because as most of you know, kids is not my thing....it's also not something that would happen easily for me, if i did want them....so, me announcing i am going to be a mom, is very funny in a lot of ways....
once it was explained to him that i was not going to be a mom, that in fact i was going to vietnam....so, i am going to vietnam for 19 days in october...i am going to be travelling with my parents.....it should be very interesting....my dad is a vet of the vietnam war, so i think it will be great to be with him there again....i am a little worried about him going back, as is my stepmother, but we will be there with him....so, i am hoping that will help alot....
if you want to check out my trip, check here....http://www.oattravel.com/gcc/general/default.aspx?oid=226223&linklocation=search....the inside vietnam trip....
so, i am not going to be a mom....just visiting vietnam
Monday, February 16, 2009
presidency....???
some of you may know that i have been actively involved in a professional organization for about 6 years now...and by active i mean i have held a position on the executive board...for those of you that didn't know, well, now you do....and it's interesting that i've kept that from you....
anyway, my current position on the board is to be a elected representative for my district within our organization...that district is called western NY...i don't live in western NY, but the organization clumped us together....all NY places that have zip codes with 13 or 14, then it's considered western...someday, if you would like or need, i will give you some NY geography and explain more why i am not in western NY....of course, if you are from the city, i already know- i am from upstate and western....we just let the city people believe that....
okay, why am i really writing about this? well, i was nominated to run for a new position on the board- president....actually, it's called president elect...because it's a three year term, the first year is as the president elect, the second year as president, and the last year as past president....in my six years on the board, i have seen six president elects and presidents, and seven past presidents...all completely different people...all doing things in completely different ways...i have observed them all, as well as our organization....
i have great loyalty to the organization....it is a place where i have learned alot about myself as a professional and have made some outstanding friends....i have had the chance to interact with senior residence life professionals in a way that i wouldn't otherwise and it's really been a learning experience...in my time on the board, i have grown to care about what we are doing for our members and as an organization....then the nomination came....
i thought about the nomination for a long time....i called one of my mentors and talked at length about if it was a good decision for me and for the organization....we talked about what the group needs and what i could bring to the group....it was a good discussion and she helped alot, but i decided to write to some people in the organization who have either been there with me right along or are new to being on the board with me....all of them are people who's opinions i greatly respect, so i wanted to hear their thoughts....i asked three simple questions and their responses varied greatly....but it gave me lots of food for thought....
as we all know, everyone has an opinion....and the opinions about what our organization does well and what it could do better were vast....but all had the same message....i spent a few weeks mulling it all over....and then decided to write my candidacy statement....this took me a long time....why could i be a good leader for our organization....what does the group need to move forward....how i could provide that forward movement or at least aid in it....the whole process was mentally exhausting for me at times....i definately had my doubts about running....and really wasn't sure i was going to run....
once the statement was done, i got some feedback on it....and then the big decision came....do i send it in....the current past president had sent me an email saying that she was waiting for my statement...that more nominations for me had come in...so, she hoped i was considering running....i finished the statement, had all my feedback, and sent it in....the process had officially begun....
now, i am a current candidate for president elect....today all the candidate information was posted on our website....i am running against one other person....i am nervous....this is a big step for me, to put myself out there like this....i feel very exposed....and i am not sure i have a chance...but i did it....and we will see how it goes...
anyway, my current position on the board is to be a elected representative for my district within our organization...that district is called western NY...i don't live in western NY, but the organization clumped us together....all NY places that have zip codes with 13 or 14, then it's considered western...someday, if you would like or need, i will give you some NY geography and explain more why i am not in western NY....of course, if you are from the city, i already know- i am from upstate and western....we just let the city people believe that....
okay, why am i really writing about this? well, i was nominated to run for a new position on the board- president....actually, it's called president elect...because it's a three year term, the first year is as the president elect, the second year as president, and the last year as past president....in my six years on the board, i have seen six president elects and presidents, and seven past presidents...all completely different people...all doing things in completely different ways...i have observed them all, as well as our organization....
i have great loyalty to the organization....it is a place where i have learned alot about myself as a professional and have made some outstanding friends....i have had the chance to interact with senior residence life professionals in a way that i wouldn't otherwise and it's really been a learning experience...in my time on the board, i have grown to care about what we are doing for our members and as an organization....then the nomination came....
i thought about the nomination for a long time....i called one of my mentors and talked at length about if it was a good decision for me and for the organization....we talked about what the group needs and what i could bring to the group....it was a good discussion and she helped alot, but i decided to write to some people in the organization who have either been there with me right along or are new to being on the board with me....all of them are people who's opinions i greatly respect, so i wanted to hear their thoughts....i asked three simple questions and their responses varied greatly....but it gave me lots of food for thought....
as we all know, everyone has an opinion....and the opinions about what our organization does well and what it could do better were vast....but all had the same message....i spent a few weeks mulling it all over....and then decided to write my candidacy statement....this took me a long time....why could i be a good leader for our organization....what does the group need to move forward....how i could provide that forward movement or at least aid in it....the whole process was mentally exhausting for me at times....i definately had my doubts about running....and really wasn't sure i was going to run....
once the statement was done, i got some feedback on it....and then the big decision came....do i send it in....the current past president had sent me an email saying that she was waiting for my statement...that more nominations for me had come in...so, she hoped i was considering running....i finished the statement, had all my feedback, and sent it in....the process had officially begun....
now, i am a current candidate for president elect....today all the candidate information was posted on our website....i am running against one other person....i am nervous....this is a big step for me, to put myself out there like this....i feel very exposed....and i am not sure i have a chance...but i did it....and we will see how it goes...
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
week 3
three weeks in and i have written two papers and have a break next week....
on monday i left work early to meet with my advisor to finalize my "plan" and meet with my group for my student affairs class....the advisor meeting still lead me nowhere...i still have no "plan"....i thought the bureaucracy i deal with in my job was bad, this might be worse....but i can finally say, i get what our students have to go through....it's just crazy...i am here to get an education not to fill out three hundred forms and have to refill them out because it's not done the way the "committee" wants it done....
anyway, i then met my group at russell sage college...it's a small women's college in troy....our project is to check out the campus environment and then present about it....the campus environment was this- no existent....that's right, we saw very few students- it was a monday not a friday...where were the students??? the "student union" was two rooms big attached to an academic building and again, other than a few people having coffee, no activity....it was the strangest experience....
after i left my group, i went over to the mall to do homework...so, i sat in borders....when i arrived there was an older man there reading a loud to a woman about what a filabuster is....explaining to her who strom thurmond was....so, i listened....when she finally spoke, it seemed as though english is a second language for her....then as i listened longer she was studying for some type of exam....that involved strom thurmond and fractions....who knows what it was....i continued to read my books and mind my business....now, other than me and some guy across the cafe, no one else was sitting there....
a woman walks in and decides she is going to sit down....now there is ALOT of room...lots of chairs...the woman decides to sit in the chair right next to me....and then she proceeds to pick her nose...and not just once....oh, no, she picks and picks and picks and picks....it was disgusting...i mean really, who does that? i am not even sure my nieces and nephew pick their noses like that....so, before i tossed my cookies, i packed up my books and left....
tuesday night our professor split us into two groups to do an acitvity....it was a about cutting student affairs...one side was for, one side was against....i was on the for side....we called ourselves HLU- heartless university....we outsourced residence life, counseling and health services; cut all student activities professionals; turned orientation over to admissions; cut mutlicultural student affairs, greek life, and parent programs; and reduced the disabilities staff...that's right at HLU as a student you will have complete control over your student activities, live in a DORM, go to an overpriced counselor and/or health service provider, and everyone will be a white, christian, male....it will be awesome!
the awesome part was my new mentee....she told the other side how it was....waged her finger and shook her head....she had our professor in tears from laughing so hard....it was really a fun activity....
so, three weeks in, two papers later, i think it's time for a winter break...i am glad albany agrees.
on monday i left work early to meet with my advisor to finalize my "plan" and meet with my group for my student affairs class....the advisor meeting still lead me nowhere...i still have no "plan"....i thought the bureaucracy i deal with in my job was bad, this might be worse....but i can finally say, i get what our students have to go through....it's just crazy...i am here to get an education not to fill out three hundred forms and have to refill them out because it's not done the way the "committee" wants it done....
anyway, i then met my group at russell sage college...it's a small women's college in troy....our project is to check out the campus environment and then present about it....the campus environment was this- no existent....that's right, we saw very few students- it was a monday not a friday...where were the students??? the "student union" was two rooms big attached to an academic building and again, other than a few people having coffee, no activity....it was the strangest experience....
after i left my group, i went over to the mall to do homework...so, i sat in borders....when i arrived there was an older man there reading a loud to a woman about what a filabuster is....explaining to her who strom thurmond was....so, i listened....when she finally spoke, it seemed as though english is a second language for her....then as i listened longer she was studying for some type of exam....that involved strom thurmond and fractions....who knows what it was....i continued to read my books and mind my business....now, other than me and some guy across the cafe, no one else was sitting there....
a woman walks in and decides she is going to sit down....now there is ALOT of room...lots of chairs...the woman decides to sit in the chair right next to me....and then she proceeds to pick her nose...and not just once....oh, no, she picks and picks and picks and picks....it was disgusting...i mean really, who does that? i am not even sure my nieces and nephew pick their noses like that....so, before i tossed my cookies, i packed up my books and left....
tuesday night our professor split us into two groups to do an acitvity....it was a about cutting student affairs...one side was for, one side was against....i was on the for side....we called ourselves HLU- heartless university....we outsourced residence life, counseling and health services; cut all student activities professionals; turned orientation over to admissions; cut mutlicultural student affairs, greek life, and parent programs; and reduced the disabilities staff...that's right at HLU as a student you will have complete control over your student activities, live in a DORM, go to an overpriced counselor and/or health service provider, and everyone will be a white, christian, male....it will be awesome!
the awesome part was my new mentee....she told the other side how it was....waged her finger and shook her head....she had our professor in tears from laughing so hard....it was really a fun activity....
so, three weeks in, two papers later, i think it's time for a winter break...i am glad albany agrees.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
not so great idea
this past week in my college student affairs class, we discussed in small groups our papers....that were written on "your undergraduate college experience." and then suggest a new student initiative based on this experience... now, we all know i am o-l-d...so, recalling this was difficult. but i did it...then each group had to pick their best initiative to share with the class....i was in a cool group and we figured out a way to combine all our ideas into one...but there is one idea that blew me away...
something you should know about my class....there are 20 of us and only 2 of us did not go to school in NY...and i counted a total of 5 who did not go to a SUNY...of the remaining 15, the majority of them attended Albany....one group all went to Albany....their idea was- seminar class....
they suggested that a seminar class of 8 weeks be set up for graduate students in our program (EAPS)....they wanted a class to discuss the "transition" to graduate school....in this class they felt a graduate student could learn about albany and the program, etc....i almost fell out of my chair...i couldn't believe that they- the group that was all albany alum- thought we should do a seminar class about albany...about transitioning to graduate school....where they kidding?! i couldn't believe it....if you are in graduate school you should not need some transition class....you do not need someone to hold your hand...YOU ARE NOT AN UNDERGRAD ANYMORE! it's time to grow up....i think the more amazing part to me was that they were all albany people....
the class pretty much told them no way...most of us are part time and we pay our own way....none of us would pay for that kind of class....they didn't understand why we didn't think it was a good idea...the other ideas were okay....we are all dreamers, which is nice....
monday night was not exciting...of course the principal was late as promised....i was in a group with a young woman who decided to tell me about how she went to lunch at the olive garden and how she has to train the new guy who makes more money than her....i didn't know where the conversation came from, she just blurted it out....it was like the other two group members weren't there....she just went on and on about the stupid olive garden....i tried to talk to one of the group members from chile about the superbowl....she is someone i like alot, we were in class together last semester....she is new to our country and we talk alot about stuff she doesn't get about us....so we were trying to talk about the superbowl and why it was a big deal and olive garden girl just interrupted and ignored my chile friend....i was annoyed.
alright, that is enough ramblings....
something you should know about my class....there are 20 of us and only 2 of us did not go to school in NY...and i counted a total of 5 who did not go to a SUNY...of the remaining 15, the majority of them attended Albany....one group all went to Albany....their idea was- seminar class....
they suggested that a seminar class of 8 weeks be set up for graduate students in our program (EAPS)....they wanted a class to discuss the "transition" to graduate school....in this class they felt a graduate student could learn about albany and the program, etc....i almost fell out of my chair...i couldn't believe that they- the group that was all albany alum- thought we should do a seminar class about albany...about transitioning to graduate school....where they kidding?! i couldn't believe it....if you are in graduate school you should not need some transition class....you do not need someone to hold your hand...YOU ARE NOT AN UNDERGRAD ANYMORE! it's time to grow up....i think the more amazing part to me was that they were all albany people....
the class pretty much told them no way...most of us are part time and we pay our own way....none of us would pay for that kind of class....they didn't understand why we didn't think it was a good idea...the other ideas were okay....we are all dreamers, which is nice....
monday night was not exciting...of course the principal was late as promised....i was in a group with a young woman who decided to tell me about how she went to lunch at the olive garden and how she has to train the new guy who makes more money than her....i didn't know where the conversation came from, she just blurted it out....it was like the other two group members weren't there....she just went on and on about the stupid olive garden....i tried to talk to one of the group members from chile about the superbowl....she is someone i like alot, we were in class together last semester....she is new to our country and we talk alot about stuff she doesn't get about us....so we were trying to talk about the superbowl and why it was a big deal and olive garden girl just interrupted and ignored my chile friend....i was annoyed.
alright, that is enough ramblings....
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